Silver Ring Thing - creating a culture shift

The f-word

So if you really want to live in a way that’s 180 degrees different than the rest of the world, how do you walk this our in your relationships? How do you honour God while keeping your heart and hormones in check?

How do you not only think differently about sex and attract the opposite sex differently – how do you also relate to the opposite sex differently?

Here’s how most Christians do it.

Guy likes girl. Girl likes guy. They go out. Have a great time. Go out again. Become a couple.

And here’s where things start getting really weird. They start treating each other differently. The friendship dies down. They start acting like they think a couple should act – and they take their cues no longer from their faith but from our culture. What does this look like?

They put all their friendships on hold and become the center of each other’s worlds. They go out on youth group trips but are oblivious of anyone else. Church, Bible studies and youth group become just another way they can see each other during the week. They feel like they need to hold hands, kiss, make out – because that’s what couples do right? And the physical suddenly becomes a big deal between two people who previously enjoyed just hanging out.

It’s like suddenly all the things they knew about being a good friend, about being a brother and sister in Christ, about encouraging the other person to grow – things that are part of their ‘regular’ friendship in youth group or at school – don’t apply any more.

Wrong, they still do.

In fact, they’re even more important now because when you continue to relate in those ways, your relationship looks very different than the way most people come together. And when you break up, the relationship also looks a lot different.

Different is good.

Start out as friends. This shouldn’t be at all hard for some of you because a lot of people hang out with their friends anyway. Some people don’t even date, they just go out with friends. But we’re talking about real friends, the kind of friendships that impact your life in a huge way. And before we move on, some of you are going to have to get past the f-word.

“Friends? You’ve got to be kidding!” Some of you may be thinking, “That’s not very romantic.” A lot of guys hate to hear the f-word, especially when it’s thrown at them like this from an object of their affection: “I just want to be friends.” The reason is it’s often a cop-out. It’s the nice way of saying, “I’m really not interested in you.” And if you’re romantically interested in someone then the f-word is like a dagger in your heart.

If the whole “friends” thing sounds too boring for your romantic dreams, you may be suffering from what we call “the Bachelor/Bachelorette Syndrome.”

Find out if you’re a sufferer of this syndrome in our next edition and learn how to overcome the fear of the f-word!

Taken from Sex 180, by Tim Walker and Chip Ingram. [ISBN 0-8010-4529-0]

Silver Ring Thing - creating a culture shift

Hear that? It’s the sound of people’s souls rumbling – they’re starving for relationships. It’s how we’re wired. Whether we want to admit it or not, we want to connect with another person in some kind of relationship – a friend, a date, a spouse. We want to meet someone who understands us and cares. Why do you think we go to chick flicks (and yes, guys even tolerate a few of them)? We love the stories. We love the connection. We want to see two people together happily ever after (or at least till the end of the movie). Why? Because we don’t want to be alone.

We all want to do relationships right. We all want the dream of finding someone to be ‘the love of our life.’ But just walk around at your school and see the drama unfold as people use people and then get discarded to the side – the way we’re doing it now isn’t working.

You want more than that. You want to do relationships right, in a way that’s 180 degrees different than the way most people in the movies, in music, and on your school grounds are relating to one another. You want to find a way to get to know someone that’s in line with the 180 God’s doing in your life. You want to bring what God’s done in your heart into what happens when you’re with someone of the opposite sex – a way that keeps your heart and mind in check.

But before you can live out this 180, you have to grasp an important element of sex: sex is selfless. What you think about sex and how you live it out isn’t just about you. That’s a real 180 from the way the rest of our culture does sex. In movies, music, TV shows or just the couples or hookups you see in your school, it’s all about what another person can do for you – how they can make you feel or what they can do to bring you pleasure.

There’s a better way to do relationships than the fairy tales the rest of the world is trying to live out. But sex isn’t just a personal issue or a personal choice – it’s not that simple. How you view sex and sexuality impacts others. It’s not just your body and your decision. When you start interacting with someone else, you’re responsible for both your actions and theirs.

First Thessalonians 4: 3 – 7 says:

It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him. The Lord will punish men for such sins, as we have already told you and warned you. For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy life.

Reread verse 6: ‘No one should wrong his brother or take advantage of him.’ Even if the other person is a willing participant in a sexual act, there’s some part of it that both people have to own up to. For example if you know someone’s weakness and take advantage of it, you’re arousing desires in that person solely for your own personal gain. Guys use it to get girls to give them oral sex. They see a girl who’s insecure and is afraid of losing the relationship, so they figure if they can’t pressure her to go all the way, they can at least make sure they get something from her.

Girls work it too – getting their needs met by taking advantage of how guys are wired visually by dressing in ways that make sure they are not only noticed but desired.

Wouldn’t you like to live in a way that’s 180 degrees different than the rest of the world, how do you walk this out in your relationships. Spent time pondering the words in 1 Thessalonians 4: 3 – 7, make the quality decision to live and do relationships God’s way.

In the next edition we will look at how we can honour God in our dating relationships, while keeping our hearts and hormones in check!

Taken from Sex 180, by Tim Walker and Chip Ingram. [ISBN 0-8010-4529-0]

www.SilverRingThing.co.za

These two shows were presented in partnership with Liberty Church.

Live show – Liberty Church, Randburg – 7th May 2010

Click here to see photos of the Randburg live show

The Silver Ring Thing live show held in Randburg on the 7th May 2010 was filled with over 1,000 young people. The official attendance was 1,000. Of these, 763 young people answered the call to commit to abstinence until marriage – that is a whopping 76% of the audience! You are not alone – abstinence CAN be the norm!

155 (16%) of the audience trusted Jesus Christ as their Saviour for the first time – the angels in heaven celebrate. 196 (20%) young people recommitted themselves to live their lives for Christ. All praise to God alone for His grace!

Live show – Liberty Church, Discovery – 8th May 2010

Click here to see photos of the Discovery live show

Over 550 young people attended the Silver Ring Thing live show held in Discovery, Roodepoort, on the 8th May 2010. 405 of these young people committed to abstinence until marriage – that is 74% of the audience! 55 (10%) responded to the invitation to trust Jesus Christ as their Saviour for the first time. 155 (28%) recommitted themselves to live their lives for Christ.

Here is just some of the (unedited) feedback received from the shows…

- Ive made the SRT promis and im going to keet it! Thanx for the show

- So awesome that SRT is back again,gr8 news!!!!!!!! Well done guys!

- thanks guys 4 an awsome weekend

- loved it, the most amazing night ever

- it waz the best tym of my lyf last nyt wnt eva 4get it eva!….thank u stax me nd my fwndz apriciate it! cnt w8 4 the nxt event of SRT!

- praying for everyone.. we can do it, abstaining is possible peoples

- Hey guys! Thanks for the awesome show that evening.

- Awesome work you guys keep it up. May God Bless You

- Thank u veri much 4 an awesome show it was Guarenteed awesomeness…Ayoberrrrr keep making the circle BIGGER SRT YEAH!!!

- Mmmm 100% behind it. Abstainance is the way.

There is ongoing follow-up on Facebook and Twitter for those that have committed to abstinence. Starting in July 2010 those committing to abstinence will also receive a weekly SMS (text message).

Silver Ring Thing Southern Africa does not currently have a full-time team to do the live shows in southern Africa. The few live shows that do take place are graciously presented by past team members on a volunteer basis. Plans are being made for some live shows in the future. These will be announced on PostCards, on the Silver Ring Thing Africa Facebook Group and the www.SilverRingThing.co.za website.

Not able to attend a live show? Then do Silver Ring Thing’s Project 434 in your church, school or individually today! Also for parents. For more information on Project 434 click here.

> creating a culture shift

Here are photos of the event…

155 (16%) of the audience trusted Jesus Christ as their Saviour for the first time – the angels in heaven celebrate. 196 (20%) young people recommitted themselves to live their lives for Christ. All praise to God alone for His grace!

Here are photos of the event…

The offer to the first 100 schools

One free Project 434 Leader’s Toolkit, valued at R385. This toolkit includes the Project434 DVD Kit (with Parent DVD, Student DVD and Resource CD), one Student next guide, one Parent next guide, a sample Silver Ring Thing silver ring and a free Silver Ring Thing Bible. The enclosed Resource CD includes a leader’s guide, posters pdf, brochures pdf and ring-sizer chart.This kit will be shipped free of charge.

See Project 434 for Leaders for more information on how to facilitate this powerful tool in your school.

Project 434

What a school needs to do to qualify for this offer

A commitment letter (on school letterhead), fax (on school fax cover) or e-mail (sent from the school’s email address) clearly stating the following:

1. That the school commits to appropriately facilitate the Project 434 DVD with its scholars,

2. That young people who choose to wear the Silver Ring Thing’s silver ring may do so in the school for 40 days after their commitment (Silver Ring Thing hopes many schools permit the Silver Ring Thing silver ring in the light of the moral and HIV/AIDS crisis, allowing for this faith and personal expression of a commitment to abstinence),

3. Although not a requirement, follow-up NEXT booklets and Silver Ring Thing rings will be made available as an option to the scholars.

4. Contact details of the person responsible for Project 434 in the school.

The Silver Ring Thing contact details to send your commitment to are:

E-mail: info@SilverRingThing.co.za

Fax: 011-782-3977

Postal address: P.O. Box 48690, Roosevelt Park, 2129

Physical address: 1 Zonda Avenue, Victory Park, 2195, Johannesburg.

Please also note

- This offer is currently available only to schools in South Africa

- This offer expires on 30th June 2010.

- This offer is limited to the first 100 schools from whom the commitment is received per letter  (on school letterhead), fax (on school fax cover) or e-mail (sent from the school’s email address)

Consider including the following your testimony: 1.) How did the pledge help you stay abstinent? 2.) How did the ring help? 3.) How did your relationship with God help? 4.) How did the support form your parents and/or local church help?

Please e-mail your story today to info@silverringthing.co.za or click here. Remember to say if we may use your name, or not, as we may place your feedback on the Silver Ring Thing website.

For further information on the Silver Ring Thing please go to www.silverringthing.co.za, to the Facebook Group ‘Silver Ring Thing Africa’ or to Twitter SRTafrica.

Silver Ring Thing… creating a culture shift

On Facebook simply search for the Group ‘Silver Ring Thing Africa’ and become a member today! It is on this Facebook group that you will receive ongoing articles, encouragement and updates to help you keep your abstinence pledge. Click here to go directly to this Facebook Group.

On Twitter go to http://twitter.com/SRTafrica and become a follower today! Receive a weekly tweet to encourage and support you in your abstinence pledge. Then follow the link to the full article on Facebook. Click here to go directly SRTafrica on Twitter.

After you have joined, invite your friends to join as well!

Silver Ring Thing… It is all about guys, girls, dating, love, second chances and the best choices.

Saturday, 8th May 2010, Liberty Church Discovery, 51 Celeste Crescent, Discovery, Roodepoort, Entrance fee R20 – open to all, ticket required. Gates open at 5:30 pm and Doors open 7pm. The show is scheduled to end around 10pm, or shortly thereafter.

Bring R150 for your own Silver Ring Thing ring and free Silver Ring Thing Bible.

Call Walk Thru the Bible on 011-782-4222 for your tickets. These two shows brought to you by Liberty Church.

The program is inspired by 1 Thessalonians 4:3-4, which states that for us to live a life pleasing to God, we must be sanctified and avoid sexual immorality. This life is not natural, but something that can be ‘learned’ and accomplished through faith in Christ. The vision of Silver Ring Thing is for this young generation to capture the truth of these verses and model an uncompromising integrity that will transform culture.

Silver Ring Thing promotes the message of abstinence until marriage, centered in a relationship with Jesus Christ through two methods: a Live Event and a small group resource called Project 434.

Live event – high-tech impact

SRT’s 2-2.5 hour stage performance incorporates high energy music, special effects, fast-paced video, personal testimonies, and comedy all delivered in a concert-style approach with which teenagers can respond and relate. The program also presents an evangelistic message focused on forgiveness and new beginnings with an opportunity to embrace a “second virginity.” Students who make a commitment to purity may purchase a silver ring as a symbol and reminder of their decision. This event is targeted at senior primary and high school students (ages 12-18) but is also relevant to college and young adult ages.

Project 434 – a generation set apart

Project 434 is a DVD resource designed to capture students and their parents with the powerful, real-life stories of a generation gutting out the decision to wait, dealing with past mistakes, and find redemption in a broken world. This resource, developed in partnership with over 400 youth leaders, includes two films, one for students, and another for parents. The student film challenges teens to understand and embrace what living out a commitment to purity really means. The parent film assists parents with valuable information to support and encourage their child in his/her commitment to abstinence. Bring this program to your community and impact students and parents with the truth of God’s plan for purity. Participants qualify for the Silver Ring Thing silver ring.

To be encouraged and equipped in their commitment students can link up with others through the local Silver Ring Thing Africa Facebook Group and on Twitter at SRTafrica.

Silver Ring Thing… It is all about guys, girls, dating, love, second chances and the best choices!

www.silverringthing.co.za

Silver Ring Thing Africa

Also see our new Facebook group ‘Silver Ring Thing Africa‘ and SRTafrica on Twitter - both are up now!

Silver Ring Thing – creating a culture shift